I came into work slightly pale this morning, after several hours of purest agony yesterday. Nasty bout of Delhi belly? Attacked by a rabid dog? Unfortunate incident with an auto rickshaw? No, just several hours watching the Ashes. God I hate being English sometimes.
Happily, there was light relief every few minutes, as Indian TV got to try and sell us some overpriced crap. Occasionally they’d switch from selling other people’s crap to selling their own, in the form of the upcoming season of unmissable sporting treats, all washed down with a generous serving of ludicrous hyperbole.
Cue Hollywood trailer voiceover accent:
“Legends Will Collide!” in some cricket matches
“The Greatest Do Battle!” in the English Premier League
“High Octane Something Or Other!” in Formula One
and
“Who Will Emerge Victorious?” in the Indian kids’ spelling competition.
What? Kids’ Spelling? This is a sporting highlight of the summer? But I suppose they want something home-grown, and it’s monsoon season so it can’t be anything outdoors, and they lost out on the TV rights for International Scrabble Masters, Legends Pictionary and the World Cup of Times Tables.
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